By Ms. Wu October 31st, 2002
Greetings, World. I must apologize again for my tardiness in showering you with my words. I know I send shivers down your spine and ripples of wanton desire through your rippled loins. Yes, that is the way of the Wu.
The way of Moi has been terribly occupied in consulting for a major international cosmetics company. These poor souls with big, round eyes who want to tap into the Asian market have not a clue on the mysteries of the Oriental Eye.
The single eyelid.
Accursed to some and quite lovely to others such as Moi, the epicanthic fold has always been a point of contention and debate among Asian women. Defined in the dictionary as “a vertical fold of skin from the upper eyelid that covers the inner corner of the eye,” this piece of skin is more popularly known in Asian communities as the “single eyelid” as opposed to the “double eyelid” common in Caucasian features.
Blepharoplasty, a surgical procedure in which “single eyelid” women can have their eyes “fixed” to have a “double eyelid” look, is common in Asian countries along with other forms of tormenting rituals such as eyebrow and eyeliner tattooing. Many of my Shanghai flowers back in the days pinched and saved their earnings just to have the surgery. It would make my eyes look more beautiful, they’d say. My eyes will look bigger. I will look more like Hollywood movie star. And if one could not afford blepharoplasty, one can simply purchase little crescent-moon shaped “eye tapes” from the cosmetic store. This creates a temporary crease on one’s eyes but it is also known to cause blistering. Alternatively, one can emulate the ways of Connie Chung and apply an impressive amount of blue eyeshadow on one’s eyelids and hope ones eyes look doubly big.
Many a times I have lost my patience during conversations with Asian women who contemplate having their eyes fixed. On one level, I empathize with them. Applying eye makeup is much easier on double eyelids. Curling one’s eyelashes also creates a more dramatic flare on double eyelids. But on another level, the fake double eyelid makes one appear either terribly sad or extremely sleepy. And frankly, it’s simply unnecessary. I like to use Adobe Photoshop, the founder of imageering, as an example. The Oriental Eye is becoming quite fashionable and so intriguing that Adobe has changed their trademark non-Asian eye to a progressively more Asian-looking eye.
My single eyelids have never been a burden. They match my dark, shapely eyebrows. They match my jaunty cheekbones. They match my voluptuous nectar-filled lips. And many a man have fallen prey under their intense hooded lure (some ancient spells made from deer penis helps as well). All in all, Ms. Wu asks you, why tamper with perfection? Lastly, I leave you with these words. The mysteries of the Oriental Eye lies beneath its almondine shadows, and its beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.
Until next time I bid you zai-jian,