For Him For Me

As a self-proclaimed philanderer of men, I must say I have developed a fondness for this FHM “For Him Magazine.” A fine publication indeed not only for the him but for the Moi as well. The wit of the writing and the insight offered, I can only hope, are as thursty and pointed as the staff’s other parts. Fret not, dear Reader, I will return to the unraveling of my bygone days of Shanghai shortly. I must simply indulge in this FHM publication and I hope you will indulge with me.

This fine publication straddles a fine ride between taking a Neantherdal’s and an intellectual’s appreciation of us ladies. Other “for him” publications simply fail so miserably at being…a man. Yes, I know it must be quite difficult for the male members of society to be who they are without being derided as a S.N.A.G (Sensitive New Age Guy) or even that dirty word, sexist! Women’s magazines are no better. Does your guy like what you wear? What is your guy really thinking? Ms. Wu can tell you. They are usually not thinking about anything in particular. Sigh. They just don’t make ladies the way the made Ms. Wu.

FHM’s success lies in its intrinsic knowledge that an absolutely politically correct culture is humourless, and might I add, boring and drab. This month’s FHM “A-Z Guide to Sex” is particularly amusing. This primer, although not nearly as encyclopedic or thorough as my private copy of “The Wanton Ways of Wu,” nevertheless has its moments of absolute ingenuity. For instance, the letter “M” as in “Her Monthly Friend” illustrates (for the simple menfolk) what to do and more importantly, not to do, during a lady’s month exemplified through Patrick Swayze films. Oh, that handsome fool who once stumbled into Shanghai and found his way to my Flower Boat. I digress. Menfolk! This guide should be memorized. Ladyfolk! Take heed. Renting Red Dawn during that time is so much more productive than publicly humiliating him for one’s own wicked amusement.

There are various other highlights in the primer such as letters B, J, and O that are refreshing. Letter C, for instance, coincides with one of my personal annoyances. Camel-toe. “Why?” I ask the sky with askance. “Why camels? And not unicorns? They have cloven hooves too.”

Until next time, I bid you zai-jian,
Ms. Wu