Where are you from?
By Ms. Wu February 28th, 2003
Fellow Readers, greetings. When someone poses the question Where are you from? how do you answer? I for one always answer Shanghai followed with China for the rare few who are so smitten with my beauty that I must further reinforce a world geography lesson for the dirty and naughty schoolboy in all men.
However I have as of late observed that this question, harmless enough in a multicultural grab bag like this fine city, can create great duress and offense to certain people of the Asian appearance and persuasion. When a NALP (Non-Asian Looking Person) asks where I am from, I presume that the question is in fact an implicit inquiry of my ethnicity. The subtle stress on the words are and you in the question suggest that they are by no means interested in a domestic locale such as Brooklyn, and they certainly would be enormously disappointed should this pair of rose petal lips answer with a ghastly, Ohio. I have never assumed the worst in the NALP for noticing my physical difference (after all how could he not notice?), nor have I assumed that this NALP is discriminating and treating me with political in-correctness. For the life of me, I couldnt conjure another way of inquiring anothers ethnicity. One cant very well say, Your eyes sho look funny. Where are you folk from anyway? Or Whats that language you be speakin theres? Would the incensed Asian Looking Person (pun intended) be less indignant if the NALP had explicitly asked, What country are you from?
One particular encounter I will recount demonstrates the complexity and subtle political play involved in our innocuous question. An Asian looking man and I were having a lovely conversation and sharing typical immigrant stories of growing up as one of the few Asian families living in our town. You gentle, sophisticated Readers may find nothing remarkable or worth noting about this, but I must remind you, in the olden days before feng shui and Pearl River Imports became popular, wearing a Chinese-styled dress to school did not elicit compliments and positive attention. Since I could not tell whether my companion was of the Chinese, Korean, or Japanese descendent, I asked him the question.
Brooklyn, he answered matter-of-factly.
I meant where were you born? I persisted.
Brooklyn, he said again unblinking.
What ethnicity are you? I finally inquired. Correctly this time.
He was Chinese.
Aye, and there is the rub. National versus ethnic identity has created the ideology of being a dash-American. No one else in other countries identify himself as an Chinese-English, Chinese-French, or a Chinese-Kiwi. A Chinese-American, Japanese-American, or the all-encompassing Asian-American exists only in America where it suggests: A) I am not FOB (fresh off the boat), B) Dont ask me questions about feng shui or what my Chinese name is, or C) Watch what you say around me.
Although I do think that having a strong sense of ones national identity is important, I do not think that this sense can be defined through nomenclature nor through employing a language of denial. Belonging, entitlement, and the right-to-be-here are ideologies that can not be shaped by attaching a dash after ones ethnic root. Does anyone really care what comes after dash? I do not.
But it appears to matter a great deal to many. Then again, these are probably the people who think Amy Tan is the best thing to happen to Chinese-Americans.
Til Next Time,
Ms. Wu
JahJah says:
July 13th, 2007 at 5:34 amGoodness. Those mean non-Asian People want to know where you’re from. And the stresses they put on words!? My stars, how you’ve suffered.
There is nothing more attractive than mewling about “racism” in various clever ways.
I, for one, object to the cruel treatment Lucy Liu has received in being “stereotyped” as a “Dragon Lady.”
I hereby volunteer to accept her paychecks if it will spare her this torture.
Damaged Tees says:
July 25th, 2007 at 8:28 pmFunny Shirts…
Great Funny Shirts…
Kieran Browner says:
September 14th, 2007 at 12:49 amActually, here in England we have some similar things, we have a large indian and middle-eastern population here which sometimes comes under the banner of British Muslims or British Asian Communities etc etc etc. Again, you’re right, I think it’s for the ‘I’m not fresh off the boat’ approach, and in England certainly, to make it so that everyone feels they’re more integrated into our culture, as like most countries, we experience racism here too.
I think it’s silly to be honest. If you’re of mixed race and background, or even 100% something, but just happen to be living here, call yourself what you want. As long as you’re a nice person, I know that me at the very least won’t mind either way.
Mette Janssen says:
December 4th, 2007 at 2:55 pm“No one else in other countries identify himself as an Chinese-English, Chinese-French, or a Chinese-Kiwi. A Chinese-American, Japanese-American, or the all-encompassing Asian-American exists only in America”
Actually here I must disagree. I think this is quite common in many countries. In my country Norway for instance, many people are called (and call themselves) Pakistan-Norwegian, American-Norwegian etc. This implies that they have two backgrounds: Norwegian AND American/Pakistan or whatever.
Robert smith says:
December 16th, 2007 at 4:00 amYeah I just wanted to add to the comments about other countries not adding the addendum and hyphenated names, it happens everywhere. Have you travelled much outside the states?
Sandy says:
August 3rd, 2008 at 7:27 amThat was a pretty disappointing entry. I’m Canadian and I’m Chinese. I’m not one without the other. I say that because who I am isn’t determined by where my parents came from and at the same time being born in Canada doesn’t mean that I haven’t had some influence from my parents culture. And if you want to know the truth, I am probably more Canadian than I am Chinese. I’m Chinese according to my genes but how I think and live my life is largely molded by Canadian culture. I don’t think that Asian Americans/Candians/Brits whatever are trying to deny their ethnicity they may just identify with being American or British more. And rightly so, I will bet you any day of your life that an Asian-American will have more in common with his White/Black-American neighbour than he does with a relative that has lived in China all their life. It’s a silly thing to say that someone is trying to belong by including “American” after their ethnicity.
Morgan says:
December 16th, 2008 at 8:25 pmI love this post. Being part Southeast Asian, part Western European, I tend to change my answers depending on how comfy I feel with the person. Sometimes yes, used as a flirtation device (always fun adding some mystery to the play;) other times, I feel quite uncomfortable. Sometimes, I’ve been harassed and threatened by what I seemingly am, other times it’s been used as ‘social lubrication’ – l like for instance, being able to relate more quickly with folks seemingly of mixed descent and with sometimes similar stories about their parents. What I identify with changes with context.
“I for one always answer Shanghai followed with China for the rare few who are so smitten with my beauty that I must further reinforce a world geography lesson for the dirty and naughty schoolboy in all men.” – hilarious.
JimS. says:
January 12th, 2009 at 7:14 pmI was glad to see Sandy’s comments above. Living in WA I travel to British Columbia frequently. As soon as I read the part saying it doesn’t happen in other countries, I thought, “yes it does, Canadians do it too”. And I don’t think it’s particularly offensive there, either.
HERLY ITO RODRIGUEZ says:
January 14th, 2009 at 5:14 pmhello , i wish to know more about my name , you know
i am from peru ….. bye
MrCrassic says:
January 21st, 2009 at 7:30 pmThis reply is obviously late…
When people ask me that question, I can only answer that I’m from Brooklyn. I usually never interpret that question as a query of my ethnicity because that’s not what the question means. It would also be pretty illogical to say that I’m Dominican when a person is asking for my birthplace. At least it’s a good way to mess up a conversation, if needed!
Koo says:
February 18th, 2009 at 4:29 amthat’s why we all say “what natio are you?” now becuase it’s just easier that way 🙂
Kathryn says:
February 19th, 2009 at 12:42 amI’ve recently moved from England to America and I agree it’s what they say and the way they say it that offends. For instance when people ask “Hi, where’s your accent from” I reply England but when people say- “You talk funny! Where you from?” “what’s that language your speaking?” “Are you Australian?” It’s frustrating and annoying.
Ana says:
April 7th, 2009 at 5:55 amThis caught my eye:
“No one else in other countries identify himself as an Chinese-English, Chinese-French, or a Chinese-Kiwi. A Chinese-American, Japanese-American.”
I beg to differ. There is one small group that might probably say that, and they are Chinese-Indonesians. Being one myself (although I was raised outside Indonesia), I do realise that my Chinese-Indonesian friends and family are very particular about this, and admittedly I do that as well. When people ask us where we are from, we say we are *Chinese* Indonesians.
I suppose this is due to the racially-divisive and tense history we have in our homeland. Nonetheless, it’s somewhat ironic, because about 75% of our loyalty lies in Indonesian, and not China.
Genie says:
April 14th, 2009 at 5:30 amI am a Chinese in China who do not like English. Chance to see this site, due to cultural differences and the level of knowledge did not understand what the article specifically, I do not know the author would like to talk about is the theme of what?
And I was glad to see Sandy’s comments above.Goodness！！！！！
Carly says:
June 30th, 2009 at 5:42 am“Does anyone really care what comes after dash? I do not.”
Why do you care about what comes before the dash? Living in an area that has a relatively equal proportion of natives and immigrants I’ve made some observations myself about the people who care about what comes before the dash, they are primarily…dun dun dun!!! immigrants. I can’t see what use that kind of information is to anyone, except for *gasp* stereotyping. You heard me, the people that are the most guilty and least apologetic about stereotyping are immigrants. Maybe that’s why Asian-Americans are so quick to say ‘Brooklyn’ when we know you want us to say ‘Chinese’. We know what you mean and we know what you’re thinking – “Freaking awesome. Now I have someone to speak Chinese to and watch trade Pokemon cards with.”
John says:
July 6th, 2009 at 11:36 amI have been contemplating asking a certain Asian looking female the same question.
I am scared to offend her. and that’s the opposite of what I want.
I am very much a NALP.
I really like her. lol
Heezy says:
March 19th, 2010 at 4:17 pmAfter years of enduring this question, I finally realized that what most people really want to know is where you’re parents are from. If you’re first generation American, that’s very different than being third generation, even if both persons are the same ethnicity. Telling the immigration story is fun for ppl whose parents immigrated, but it’s really annoying if the person won’t let up after you tell them “both my parents were born in the U.S.” So that’s my advice– it keeps the conversation polite and the least uncomfortable possible.
Jemandx says:
March 20th, 2010 at 8:00 amGood post Ms Wu.
But for others, what’s wrong with asking where someone is from to ascertain their ethnicity? It’s only made awkward because of the oppressive nature of political correctness and hysterical hypersensitivity due to exaggerated and false claims of so-called racism, often perpetrated by self-loathing xenophiles. If i want to know someone’s ethnicity, i simply ask where their parents are from. But so often their name gives it away saving me from asking.
And here in Australia, people are increasingly hyphenating their national identity. I’m now calling myself Anglo-Australian despite being a fourth generation Aussie because i regard hyphenating your ethnic origins to be a political statement about your loyalties. My country is currently under cultural attack from immigrants who bring their old prejudices and problems and deride our people and culture as if they were forced to flee Utopia to live in Australia against their will.
I don’t think self-described “Asian-Americans” regard themselves as American at all, nor do Lebanese-Australians (as an example) regard themselves as Australian. Hyphenation is a way of saying “I am Lebanese and live in a country that i hate”. Thus, i am slowly learning about my Anglo-Celtic cultural heritage to disconnect me from all those creeps who reject the culture that made this country so great.
Puff says:
March 20th, 2010 at 11:24 pm@Jemandx. So a Lebanese-Australian who calls himself a Lebanese-Australian is really saying he is Lebanese and lives in a country that he hates. What about a self-proclaimed Anglo-Australian such as yourself? By your logic, shouldn’t this hyphenation mean you’re English and live in a country that you hate? Or are you merely suggesting that an Anglo-Australian is more Australian than other Australians who do not have an Anglo-Celtic heritage? For the record, I’m Asian-Australian. I never call myself that however, preferring just Australian. It’s people like you who insist on putting that tag on me.
miami says:
July 23rd, 2010 at 12:12 amI think you should read Edward Said’s book culture and Imperialism. And I really dont understand why would asking you where you were originally from can be offending !! Why would you want to gust blend in when you can strongly stand out !! look at African American people they have their own cultural aspects which they held strongly to and now one of them is the president ,, now how cool is that.^_^
Evelyg says:
August 9th, 2010 at 9:21 pmI’m Cuban,Chinese, Spanish, African or Haitian (which one i don’t know)
But I’m from Cuba. People tend to call me Mexican or Asian or other races though it gets infuriating.
Some people say, Hey you look Korean!
Some say, I though you were Mexican
And the reply i really don’t like is, ‘You don’t look Cuban you sure you aren’t white?’
I dislike how many people hate Cubans no matter if i don’t look how a Cuban, ‘should’
Just because of how you look people think they know your race. Not that i hate the comments or anything.
I do speak, Spanish, English and some Japanese…
But do you dislike when people completely rely on skin color or features to figure out where you are from?
Evelyg says:
August 9th, 2010 at 9:27 pmWhen someone asks me i automatically answer, ‘Around’ when they ask again, i say the same thing, once they ask what ethnicity are you, i say, Mixed mostly Hispanic.
jenn says:
November 16th, 2010 at 12:53 pmSimilar to what Ana said one year ago, Singaporean-Chinese as well!
Amanda says:
April 17th, 2011 at 7:45 pm“Although I do think that having a strong sense of ones national identity is important, I do not think that this sense can be defined through nomenclature nor through employing a language of denial. Belonging, entitlement, and the right-to-be-here are ideologies that can not be shaped by attaching a dash after ones ethnic root. Does anyone really care what comes after dash? I do not.”
I am sure you meant well in saying this, but as a Chinese-American, I would be deeply offended if I met someone who cared more about my being Chinese than about being American. I am not culturally Chinese. Somewhere, a couple generations up the line, I have ancestors who lived in China. I never have. Somebody caring about what comes before the hyphen (which is different from a dash, by the way; a dash looks like this: —) means what they care about is my appearance or my last name or whether I can act as a translator when they need one.
When someone asks me what country I am from, I answer America. That is the truth and the only answer that makes sense. I couldn’t tell you anything interesting about China if I tried. It is roughly shaped like a tiger. It has some major rivers. The Qing Dynasty ended in 1912. But I can describe, in great detail, my home state of California, the major American mountain ranges and rivers from east to west, and the history of continental America from English settlement to present day. Furthermore, I think like an American. A Chinese transfer student to my university and I were discussing differences in Chinese and American values concerning education and work ethic, and although I could understand his way of thinking, I do not think I could ever subscribe to it myself because I am simply too American about these topics.
So the part that comes after the hyphen? That is the vital part to me. The part before it is entirely optional.
Bujjcun says:
April 19th, 2011 at 10:09 amHum, i’m thai. Lol ):
Butbut, everubody thinks i’m chinese all the time, it’s really annoying how everybody thinks i’m chinese or taiwanese just because i say “Dude, i’m thai. “
Erin says:
July 16th, 2011 at 7:05 amI identify myself as a Korean-Canadian because I was born here and have lived here all my life but I am 100% Korean. I am accustomed to Korean culture as well as Canadian culture. A lot of the time, people mistake me as Chinese (not saying that is bad), it bugs me that they think we all look the same, but I do admit that I don’t look very Korean. (I do look Chinese)
What really bothers me is when people at a store or somewhere in public talks to me, but by slowing down the words or emphasizing specific key words. When I reply, people are surprised that I said a sentence that made sense and that I didn’t have a typical asian accent. I actually have proper grammar, that some people don’t seem to have. The funny thing is, once, a girl talked to me the exact same way (slowing down and emphasizing) but her grammar was terrible. Example: “Sooo, those SHIRTS is gooood? It loookss goood on YOUU.” *Facepalm*
Cecilia says:
September 12th, 2011 at 9:55 amI will have to add to the long list of responses to the idea that the “dash-American” ideology is unique to the U.S. I met a man who identified himself as British-Jamaican (son of a Jamaican immigrant, born in London) and I’ve consistently identified myself as Chinese-Canadian throughout my life. In multicultural cities like Toronto and Vancouver, the “dash-Canadian” is hardly necessary in conversation, and a simple “I’m Chinese” would suffice; it’s generally assumed you’re Canadian. (Then again, most of my life in Canada has been spent in places with large minority populations.)
Having lived overseas and conversed with people from less… “politically correct” countries, though, I can see how this sort of ‘national vs. ethnic identity’ ideology would raise some eyebrows. A few colleagues of mine couldn’t stop measuring my nationality and ethnicity on a single scale. They didn’t quite understand why I would call myself “100% Canadian” and “100% Chinese”, at the same time, when clearly I must be more of one than the other (which may hold true for some, but definitely can’t be applied to everyone).
zoey says:
January 11th, 2012 at 3:50 amI wanted to say even in places like Japan, they would say Korean(ethnicity) Japanese (nationality)
I think it’s just the norm for any immigrants to a country
sunchef says:
April 14th, 2012 at 11:07 am@ JahJah That was tactful. Well, not really.
Fried Sushi says:
April 16th, 2012 at 4:09 pm“From my mother.”
Stupid questions deserve stupid answers.
It was Oprah Winfrey who insisted that blacks use african-american as the politically correct euphemism. Then everyone jumped on the bandwagon and we all became hyphenated Americans (dash-americans). Does anyone remember an application from the ’70’s? It asked whether you were white, black or other…not are you “african-american or asian-american.”
I have another observation. I hear the term “african-american” used quite frequently at Wal-Mart. However, I remember my professors, those who were black, calling themselves black men and black women. Maybe education has a lot to do with how one views themselves.
Unlike Ms.Wu, I prefer that someone asks me where I’m from. That way, I would already know that this person is a racist and I need not waste any efforts to be polite or helpful to this person. It’s a great litmus test. Think about it. Did your best friend ever ask you “Where you from?”
DeL says:
April 28th, 2013 at 6:20 amI’m from Greece, I assume that I’m an ethnic Greek aswell, from the northern part of my country.
I was just looking for a place around here to express how embarrassed I am for doing bad at the exams.
It’s just that I have never had enough contact with East Asian culture in my life to be able to distinguish the aspects of each one.
So yeah, that’s about it. I guess I’ll study them a bit more when I have the chance.
Michael Gooch says:
April 29th, 2013 at 1:35 amFried Sushi, they might just be too ignorant to form the correct question and not actually be wanting to judge you based on the response. I wouldn’t assume they’re racist unless there are other clues.
Casey says:
May 15th, 2013 at 7:08 amI, so agree with you, Miss Wu, I can only tolerate this question to a point but i find some people incredibly rude and insist to know more personally about my background. I am a transplant in a western country.
Since i have to learned how to integrate and assimilate to these idiots who are not broad minded and love compartmentalise and analyse everything in categories. I have resort to LYING about my ethnic background and where i was born (they always ask me that question upon meeting me.)
I enjoy it. Its fun to see how gullible they are. I suggest one should do that if they are constantly harassed by those invasive/pointless questions. This world has become so shallow and concerned with only personal appearance/racial profiling and definitely can’t see past that. I, being yellow have to cop alot of flake from these idiots…
Hooo humm, hum dee dum
nonymous says:
February 28th, 2014 at 6:20 pmThis seems to be a more common question here in Australia,
Despite looking like the typical westerner, I get asked that all the time.
Sadly, 4/5 people seem to need a geography lesson in their own state just to work out where it is.
“where?” “near (bigger town)” “is that like, on the coast?” “nope.” “so its on the boarder then?”
“no. wrong. nowhere near it, look it’s in central (region) at the foothills of (enormous mountain range)”.
“(region)? where is that?” “oh, just a 1/3rd of the land area of the state”.
Even when they do know where it is I get the obligatory “do you know the (family name)s” “no.” “Are you sure you don’t?” “(name) and (name) (family name)?” “no. can’t remember hearing of them” “are you really sure?” “Where do they live anyway?” “(town >100KM away)” “yep, pretty certain I don’t know them”.
This is bad enough, can only imagine its 1000000% worse for people from overseas.
Cindi says:
June 25th, 2014 at 11:00 amMan can I relate! I get asked this question all the time. I don’t take offense to it, but I get annoyed at the wrong terminology usage and play the same game 🙂 I like to see the frustration on their faces LOL
Ajay says:
July 30th, 2014 at 2:52 ammiya より:Hi RyuVery good to hear from you. How’s life in Boston?Actually there are lot’s of Condos there which were converted in to luuxary cond’s from hotels before they were started their construction.I don’t know the exact reson why, but anyway I saw some of them such us Jean Nouvel’s and HdeM’s around Soho. They are now under consrtuction. You will see Nouvel’s has almost done the exterior, but the latter has just exposed its concrete structure so far.Of course their rents are surprising. While the new upper class are living in Brooklyn such as along L-line rising up the average incomes and rents of the areas, the luxury Manhattan areas such as around Soho are boosting up its prestigious states by rebuilding brand new buildings.What’s also amazing is Prada in Soho designed by OMA has been rearranged the interior. Its first floor was originally designed as only a kind of show window’/ void space, and the basement was for retail for men/women. But now the first floor is just a men’s floor and the basement floor is for women. The charming cabinet designed by SANAA seemed in no use. It seems the fundamental idea well-organized Programing space’ has totally gone. It is sadly just a commercial space like others swallowed into Sohoism’.
Akira says:
March 3rd, 2015 at 9:31 amOMG, I’m from Japan and I answered everything wrongly!!!!